For better or for worse: The mental health effects of divorce

shisu_ka // Shutterstock Despite the traditional wedding vow adage, many marriages do not last until “death do us part.” The famous statistic that half of all marriages end in divorce is a bit of an exaggeration, but research suggests that at least 41% of first marriages in the United States dissolve–meaning odds are you know someone (perhaps yourself) who is divorced. As divorce is now common, understanding its psychological impact has become increasingly important.  The 20th century saw a spike in divorce rates, prompting a wave of research on the link between divorce and mental health. A seminal study from the late 1990s found that divorce and separation were linked to higher levels of anxiety and depression, as well as a greater risk of alcohol abuse–findings that have been consistently echoed in research since.  However, divorce and separation have some well-documented mental health benefits, especially for those who are unhappily married. According to a 2009 study, people who are unhappy in their marriage and decide to get divorced have better psychological well-being than those who stay married in the same circumstance–especially women. Psychological well-being is further improved by remarrying, according to the study.  To assess how divorce affects mental health–for better and for worse–Charlie Health looked at the numbers, including data on the link between divorce and psychiatric admission and its benefits for those who are unhappily married. Divorce Can Increase the Likelihood of Serious Mental Health Issues  As mentioned, research over the past 20 years consistently shows that divorce is strongly linked to negative mental and physical health outcomes (more on physical health outcomes below). According to a 2020 study, people who go through divorce often report higher levels of stress, anxiety, depression, and social isolation compared to the general population. For some, these mental health issues can be serious. A 2003 study found that a recent divorce was linked to a higher risk of first-time psychiatric admission for depression, even when measured against a control group of age- and gender-matched subjects.  The Mental Health Effects of Divorce Can Vary by Who Initiated It The mental health impacts of divorce can depend on who initiated the divorce. A study from 2011 looking at 1,786 men and 2,068 women in their first marriages found that separations that were self-initiated or jointly initiated had less severe mental (and physical) health impacts on people compared to those whose separations were partner-initiated–a finding that was true for men and women, according to the study.  The Link Between Mental Health and Divorce is Bi-directional for Some While divorce can worsen mental health for some, struggling with a mental health condition can also negatively affect a person’s chance of divorce. A 2011 study of tens of thousands of people across dozens of countries found that all 18 mental disorders studied are associated with a higher likelihood of divorce–anywhere from 20% to 80% increased likelihood, according to the study. Specific phobias, major depression, and alcohol abuse are the most significant contributors to both reduced marriage rates and increased divorce rates, researchers found.  A similar study from 2015 of over 20,000 Norwegian couples found that mentally distressed people are more likely to divorce. Couples with at least one mentally distressed partner had a higher risk of divorce, and couples with multiple mentally distressed partners had a higher risk of divorce than couples with only one distressed partner (but less than what would be expected from the combined effects of both partners being distressed). Divorce Can Also be Linked With Chronic Health Conditions In addition to the mental health effects of divorce, separation can take a toll on physical health. A 2009 study of 8,652 people aged 51 to 61 found that those who were divorced or widowed had 20% more chronic health conditions such as heart disease, diabetes, or cancer than married people. They also have 23% more mobility limitations, such as trouble climbing stairs or walking a block. Most People Actually Cope Well With Divorce–and It Can Improve Mental Health While separation or divorce is linked to poorer health outcomes across the board, most people actually cope well with divorce. One 2014 study found that 79% of people could be described as either “average copers” (with average levels of life satisfaction and self-reported health, and little depression) or “resilient” (with high levels of life satisfaction and self-reported health, and the lowest levels of depression) following divorce. According to the study, only 10% to 15% of people experience significant struggles following divorce, which researchers suggest might drive the overall health risks associated with separation. Similarly, a 2009 study found that psychological well-being initially declines in the first couple of years after a marriage ends, but then returns to previous levels. How to Cope With the Mental Health Effects of Divorce If divorce is taking a toll on your mental health, remember, you are not alone. Many people struggle with the emotional fallout from separation and divorce, but healing is possible–and statistically likely in the long term. In the meantime, here are some tips to help you cope with the mental health effects of divorce.  Seek social support Research shows that social support can support better emotional recovery after divorce. Leaning on friends, family, or even support groups can help you process emotions in a safe environment, reducing feelings of loneliness and fostering resilience. Sharing your experiences with others not only helps normalize what you’re going through but also offers practical coping strategies from people who may have been through similar situations. Practice self-care As mentioned, divorce can take a mental and physical toll, and self-care can help mitigate both of these effects. Engaging in regular physical activity, mindfulness, and self-care routines has been shown to help reduce symptoms of depression and anxiety and release endorphins that can improve mood and alleviate stress. Likewise, practicing mindfulness or meditation can help individuals manage overwhelming emotions and promote emotional stability. It may also be helpful for some to avoid substances and maintain a routine, which can add stability to your days.  Consider professional help Seeking therapy or counseling can be especially beneficial in addressing the emotional challenges of divorce. Divorce can trigger feelings of grief, loss, and identity crises, but a therapist can provide coping tools, help reframe negative thought patterns, and guide you through the process of healing. Mental health professionals can also direct you to medication management as needed. This story was produced by Charlie Health and reviewed and distributed by Stacker Media.